To My Elijah

My sweet boy,

When you were born I looked at you with such joy and love, knowing that what was to come would be  both simple and difficult, exciting and exhausting, entertaining and infuriating.  I soon realized how different motherhood would be this time, how much I would rely on you to be there for me; to understand that your sister needed to be fed, too, or to go out to the park; to rely on your patience as your nursing was interrupted yet again, or your nap was not quite on time.  

In those first weeks my younger sister helped me gain an important insight.  She told me that her only regret with her second child was that she didn't slow down often enough to take mental pictures of  the moment with her tiny baby while she had the chance.  I tried to take that message to heart, but when I attempted to write this post, to recall a bunch of snap shots that I was sure I had taken, only a few came to mind.  

Luckily, I'm a picture person…so I sorted through the photos of your first year and found every single one that exists of just you and me (I did omit a few that were redundant or really, really not fit for public viewing).  Since I am behind the camera 90% of the time, they seemed few and far between in my vast collection of photos, but I'm happy with how many exist and the memories they bring forth for me.  I love you, baby boy.

Little peanut about 12 hours old--we were both pretty tired

Just two days outside of the belly

Abigail was all about taking photos of her brother when he came home

Notice Jake in the background taking a picture of her taking a picture

You were the main attraction.

That sweet little head under my chin is one of my very favorite things.  It brings tears to my eyes almost every time, to know that you are so dependent and also so content to be with me and let me take care of you.

Sleepy little newborn in the moby.  You wore that little navy and white striped jammy outfit often, and that tiny little pacifier looks huge on your face.

The days when you slept all the time seem like a lifetime ago. 

Out and about from the start, trying to keep up with big sister

Your bright blue eyes reflect your clear, bright, and beautiful demeanor.  

My little angel on our annual sister weekend trip.  You were cuddled and spoiled, hardly set down for three days straight.

At the mission in San Juan Capistrano.  I love that you are looking at your toes, since you are always exploring and observing.

My sweet

This fuzzy photo is an accurate depiction of this time when you were getting too big for the cosleeper, but not quite ready to be on your own.  You would move closer and closer to me as the night wore on.

Bath time!  Though not always your favorite activity, it's been growing on you.

Despite ALWAYS chewing on fingers and gnawing on toys, you still have no teeth at 12 months old.

You are probably confused as to why I am getting in the way of your view of the ocean.  You are always mesmerized and excited when we reach the shore.

Love those matching booties and hat.  They were staples for early morning walks.

Waiting in line with your big sister to see the princesses at Disneyland.  Soon enough you will have an opinion about what to see next on these family outings.

Your first time eating rice cereal -- attacking the spoon with gusto.

My sweet boy smiling with me on Disneyland's Main Street

Little hands, cuddly boy.  Nothing could be better.

I love you

Halloween.  You didn't last long as a shark, but we did go to one house as a family.

This picture was taken while Da da and Abigail were off on an adventure together and we were having a relaxing day at home.  I loved being able to live by your schedule and needs on our one-on-one days.

 

I want a kiss...

Thank you!  (I think you were hungry and actually trying to suck on my lips.) 

5 am walk by the beach.  Sometimes an early wake up call requires some soothing ocean sounds

Holiday brunch at The Marine Room -- eating yogurt and being an angel

Christmas Eve at Grammio's house.  You threw up on my dress, so I'm wearing one of her shirts.  Abigail was "helping" you open your present.

Beautiful sunset with my sweet boy

Again, much more interested in the ocean than the camera

Soon you'll be riding the carousel with your sister.  For now you are my little koala bear.

Water bottles are endlessly interesting

Mentally catching seagulls

I love that my hip is your comfort, even when things are a little rough

Thank you for an amazing year, my son.  I can't imagine my life without you.  I look forward to watching you grow and learn, to experiencing all the joy and excitement that comes with walking, talking, singing, dancing, and so many more things that are just around the bend for you.  I love to watch you and your sister interact -- there's no one who keeps your attention quite like she does.  I'm proud to be your mother, and I hope by the time you are old enough to read this yourself that you are proud of me, too.  Happy Birthday!