It's Time

Well, I need to wean Abigail.  I thought I would be jumping for joy, closing up the milk bar, happy to have my body back to as normal as it's going to be...but I'm not.  

First let me be clear, I'm not doing this because she is a year old and that's what people in the United States consider the ideal amount of time to nurse, despite the fact that most of the world uses this great nutritional resource more frequently and for longer.  I would have been among those saying that one year is the maximum amount of time for nursing before I had my own child, but things change, and nursing is a personal as well as a health choice.  It's not for all mothers or families.  

I'm also not doing it because I'm inconvenienced.  We nurse at 10:30 am to go down for a nap, at 3 pm for a snack, at 7 pm for bedtime, and as needed in the night.  On Monday I was at a shopping mall at 3:15 pm and in the span of 10 minutes in the back seat of my car (with tinted windows) I nursed the baby, changed her diaper, and set her happily in her seat, ready to go on to the next activity.  It's easy, wonderful, nutritional, and she loves it.  She laughs with glee when I sit her in my lap and reveal her favorite food source.  I love the bond we have forged and my ability to help her grow into a tall, strong, happy baby.  So what's the catch?  Why am I feeling that I need to make this change now?

AS NEEDED IN THE NIGHT

My little one nurses to sleep.  She didn't for a long time, actually.  She used to nurse and then rock to sleep, but when she stopped allowing the swaddle (at 9 months, believe it or not, she loved it until then) she started relaxing to sleep at the breast.  Now she falls asleep for her one nap of the day and for bed while nursing.  I don't mind this at all--it's very easy, but I'm told by one and all that it's the primary source of our nighttime sleep problems.  Saying she doesn't sleep through the night is an understatement.  She gets up frequently.  She sleep for 3-4 hours in her own crib (not necessarily uninterrupted) starting around 7 pm, then comes to bed with us until she awakens for the day between 5:30 and 6:15 am.  When we lived in our old town house I used to sleep on a separate bed in her room since it was two stories down from our room and I'd climb down from the lofted bed every time she cried and stay up until I got her back into the crib.  I thought bringing her to our bed would help me get more sleep.  In our new house we bought a king sized bed and a frame that's really low to the ground.  But now she knows that she will come to our bed, so she's harder to soothe back to sleep in the first few hours of sleep which occur in her room.  The nights vary widely, but I think she wakes up crying more frequently than ever and is becoming dependent on the suckling not just to fall asleep but to stay asleep.  

So here are my two reasons for believing now to be the time: 1.) I'm convinced she will sleep longer and better, and 2.) we brush her little teeth before bed and then I nurse her all night--not ideal.

I might get all the broccoli out, but she still needs to avoid sugars on her teeth while sleeping.

Honestly, I have no clue what I'm doing.  This task is so daunting and feels like the end of peace in my life.  She does NOT want to drink whole milk (she spits it out).  She does NOT like to go to sleep.  She does NOT sleep for long periods, so what I seem to be facing is a week (at least that's what people say) of hell, though I'm certain it will be longer.  I know, I know, some of you will say I should just suck it up and let her cry it out, and my pediatrician would certainly agree with you, but I can't, and Jake and I agree on the topic.  I seriously understand why people do use that method and I am glad for them if it works and their children sleep well.  But removing that as an option for personal reasons, I hardly even know where to start.  I read that I should give her a snack right before bed and then just lay her in her crib.  Ha.  I mean, that's just comical.

Wish me luck.


Today's park and beach expedition:

Her favorite--baby Kathleen, stolen from my mother

Stopping to eat a tomato while shopping on the grass

Ditching the cart to come see Mama

Feeding baby Kathleen some corn

One handed, though she really doesn't need it at all

On the way UP

Handing Mommy some sand

Asking to go in the water